10 Little Secrets
by Ivy.Lunar.Reid
Summary: The magical world knew Hermione Granger. Her best friends probably knew her the best, but even they don't know everything about her. Here are ten little secrets Hermione kept from the magical world. Kinda Drabble Fic?
1. Chapter 1

Title: Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own HJG at all, so...-cries!-

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Hermione Granger.

Everyone knew her. They knew she was the brightest witch of her generation, the best friend to Harry Potter and the girlfriend of Ron Weasley. They knew she was an overachiever and a muggleborn. Everyone knew she went out with Victor Krum in the fourth year before they broke up. It was a well-known fact she was an activist at heart and a well-meaning girl. So many people knew of Hermione Granger, but there were still things, secrets, thoughts, history that they knew nothing about.

Hermione Granger was plenty of things, a Gryffindor, a bookworm, and a great friend, but there were more to her, than only what she showed at Hogwarts.

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A/N: I'm attempting to write in drabble form for this idea. I have all ten tibbits but I don't know how to breach into each section. So here's the prologue. The next chapter will come out soon.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Her Calm

Disclaimer: Hermione is an independent witch. Of course she won't allow me to own her.

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It was a general assumption that Hermione liked silence. No one bothered to ask her if she preferred the silent library to study or the rowdy Common Room to study in. No one noticed how often she studied in the Common Room or even in the Courtyard. No one noticed her constant twitches when she was alone in the library, surrounded by books and quiet. It was no surprise when no one knew how calm she felt surrounded by people, by ruckus, by chaos. No one knew how much she loved sound.

As a child, Hermione was often alone. Her parents had their own private practice. They worked from the morning until the evening. She was often left on her own. Alone in her house, she grew up surrounded by silence. The moment her parents return from work, Hermione would talk, about anything just to force the silence away. She talked about what she read, about the news, anything and everything, as long as she kept up the chatter, the silence was held back for the moment.

So while everyone thought she hated being surrounded by noise and the general chaos of Hogwarts, Hermione felt content, calm, and happy as the sound of her friends, of people, of magic surrounds her in a comforting embrace.

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A/N: Short and simple.


	3. Chapter 3

Title:Lace

Disclaimer: I don't own Hermione.

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Harry's barrier against the world was his passion and love for flying. It wasn't the game that attracted him, it was the feeling of being freed from the world when his feet left the ground.

Ron's barrier against the world was chess. Instead of escaping the world, he focused into a smaller world, where he had control, where there were rules to follow.

Hermione's barrier was something simple yet powerful at the same time.

Lace.

She didn't need to escape the world, she needed armor for when she battled against the world, the public, the students. Harry might need an escape, Ron might need control, but Hermione only need armor.

Lace, something so unnoticeable, was her armor against the world. It gave her strength, courage, and acted as a reminder as well. She wore something no one at Hogwarts would ever believe she would wear. It was her secret, something only one other person knew about.

Her mother passed down the thought of Lace being a woman's armor. She followed this thought as she entered Hogwarts as a first year and as she left as a graduate. The feel of lace on her body gave her courage, the silky feel of it against her body. It was addicting. Even when she was with her boys, the mere brush of lace against her body reminded her, she wasn't a boy, she was a girl.

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A/N: Keep going!


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Bubble Baths

Disclaimer: Don't own.

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There were only a few things Hermione allows herself to indulge in. One commonly known thing would be sugar quills. Harry and Ron often teased her when they found some in her bag. Another indulgent was music in which only three others knew about. But the one thing no one knew, including her parents, was her love for bubble baths.

It was relaxing to bathe in the warm water, her mind drifting off as she wiped down her body. After a day of running after the boys, of dealing with the world, a long soak in warm bubbly water was exactly what Hermione needed to relax.

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A/N: I wrote what I felt was necessary without extra. Maybe later I'll elaborate but until then, please accept what I can give out.

Oh another note, HAPPY NEW YEARS!


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Clothes

Warnings: Possible Ooc...not really but a bit.

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If there was one thing that drew Hermione's eye to a man, it was the way they wore their clothes. If he wore his clothes sloppy, shirt not tucked in, clothes all wrinkly, mismatched socks, Hermione would never give the boy a second look. It was one of the reasons why she didn't pay much attention to Ron in the beginning. Of course she was his friend, but that never changed how she saw him. He was a boy, a boy she felt no interest in until later in her life.

If there was a boy who caught her eye when she first started Hogwarts, there wasn't one. It was the Slytherins in general that caught her eye. The way they wore their uniform, pressed, crisp, and somehow stylish, it drew her attention. Even though their prejudice ways disgusted her, she respected their sense of style at the very least.

Her attraction to a man in uniform, whether it was wizarding robes or otherwise, was one reason she accepted Viktor's invitation to the Ball in her Fourth Year. The way he filled out his Durmstang's uniform, it was attractive. Not to say Hermione was shallow….but a proper appearance didn't hurt either.

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A/N: This...turned out different from what I planned. But it still works!


	6. Chapter 6

Title:Her body

Disclaimer: I forgot in the last chapter to state that I don't own HJG.

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Everyone was surprise by how beautiful Hermione could be if she put some effort into it. An example would be during the Yule Ball. She was the belle of the ball. All eyes were on her, surprised, awed by her change. It made people wonder, why didn't she dress up? Why didn't she put any effort into being the beauty they saw she could be? The answer was simple, why should she?

Hermione didn't need make up, a beautiful dress or magic to feel beautiful. She knew she was beautiful. She didn't need to show it to world. As long as she knew she was beautiful, perfect the way she was, she didn't need anyone else's opinion. It was her body, it wasn't their body. If she wanted to show the world what they were missing, it was her choice.

People thought she was self-conscious of her body. Some even thought she was ashamed of her body. Hermione was not self-conscious of her body. After a few summers spent on the beaches of France, any thoughts about her body flew from her mind. It was her body, if she wanted people to see it, she would show it off. Just like she did for Viktor Krum.

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A/N: ...I seem to be pushing this into the Hermione/Krum category, aren't I? Oh well, I'm a supporter for that pairing.

A/N2: Made an edit for chap 5 and 6 for Viktor's name.


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Pride and Wrath

Warnings: A little OOC, but I like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

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If there was a sin assigned to every single person in Hogwarts, a good number would be the sin Pride. If everyone was to assign a sin to Hermione, majority of votes would be the sin Pride. The remaining few were jokes from the few who hated her, called her Lustful, a Glutton, and some even called her Envious. However, if Hermione had to choose her sin, it would be Wraith.

Everyone thought she was a pacifist at heart, she knew better. Her Wrath came out over the years, through one way or another. When she punched Malfoy in the nose, when she sent the birds after Ron, and many more in which very few knew about. She wasn't a violent person. Yet there were times when a little physical intervention was necessary. If she felt delight when she hurt someone, she accepted it. It was a part of her, just as much as her Pride.

Everyone knew she didn't like violence. No one knew she rather be a part of the violence than witness it. She had too much Pride to show anyone her Wrath.

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A/N: I'm over half way done with this fic! Yes!


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Depression

Warnings: A little angst, some over the top situations for a kid, things like that.

Disclaimer: I don't own HP.

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Hermione's past wasn't the brightest of all pasts. Harry and Ron knew she suffered from her intelligence. She was often avoided due to her know-it-all attitude. The only thing they didn't know was how badly Hermione was affect by her past. As a child, she needed people to guide her, people to show her they loved her, people to relate to. However she had no one, no friends, her parents always working, there was no one there. They never knew she suffered depression as a child.

It wasn't overwhelming. There were times she wondered how it would feel to cut herself but she was only a child, she never thought about death. Within time, the depression leaded to lack of energy, motivation, lack of life. A year before she entered Hogwarts, Hermione was slowly dying. Her parents finally saw the damage a lonely childhood did to their daughter. Counseling led to the discovery of a simple way for Hermione to not fall back into depression: Goals.

By setting short-term and long-term goals, Hermione worked. She knew depression took a toll on her. Yet the goals weren't enough. Eventually, she reached every goal she made for herself. She was falling back into the dark hole of depression when the letter arrived, her Hogwarts letter. With a brand new world to explore, new goals to search for, Hermione was saved again.

This was one reason she wanted to free the elves. It was an impossible goal, she knew that. After reading books on tradition, history, and the occasional paragraph about house elves, she knew their magic needed to tie itself to a family. Just like how she needed a goal to stay sane and not fall into depression, a house elf needed a human wizarding family to survive. It was an impossible goal to free them all. It was perfect for Hermione. Even though it was impossible to do, Hermione continued with her campaign, continued forwards and away from her past depression.

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A/N: Not really happy with this chapter. Didn't turn out the way I liked, but it got the point.


	9. Chapter 9

Title: Darkness

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

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Ron and Harry knew Hermione has fears. She was afraid of failing, of heights, and a more recent one, dementors. However, after the last war, there was a new fear. She didn't tell them or show them this fear. She didn't want to appear weak before them. Even though they were her closest friends, to be afraid of the dark, she felt pathetic.

Before the war, Hermione didn't need to sleep with the light on. As long as the window was open, she could see the sky, she was fine. She used to be fine with the dark, it was a comforting blanket at night. Yet, the years at Hogwarts changed everything. Every night she went to bed, the moment she closed her eyes, she saw them again. She could hear the dragging of a club on stone ground. She could hear the slither of scales on stone floor. She could feel the sweat rolling down her body as she dreamed of running from Moony. She could see Cedric's dead blue eyes. She could feel her blood dripping after one too many detentions with Umbridge. Every time she closed her eyes, she could see black eyes, filled with insanity; she could feel the knife as it cut through her arm, she could smell her blood as it pooled around her arm.

The dark used to be her friend. Now, it was an accessory for her nightmares. Since then, the night was a monster, waiting to consume her mind the moment she falls asleep. It will continue to wait, until the day Hermione either falls into the darkness or rise about it all.

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A/N: Much better, I feel much better with this chapter than the last one.


	10. Chapter 10

Title: Ron

Warnings: A little Ron bashing.

Disclaimer: I don't own HP.

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He wasn't what she wanted in a boyfriend. Hermione didn't need someone to complain to her constantly about things she had no control over. She didn't need someone who didn't care about their education like she did. Why would she want to be with a guy who didn't understand simple emotions and consequences? He wasn't her first choice, but he was it.

He was it. She admits she did have a crush on him, just like she had a crush on several other guys at Hogwarts. However, she never thought they would end up as a couple. She thought they might end up dating for a while, figured they were better off as friends, and simply slide back to their previous places. It didn't turn out that way.

Ron needed her. If he was by himself, he would lose himself in his world, in his mind. With Hermione by his side, he had a guide, a map to a future. Without her, he could survive, but never live the life he wanted. Hermione knew that. She knew he was practically using her.

Yet, at the same time, she could be using him as well. Besides Cormac and Viktor, Ron was the only one who showed any interest in her. Cormac disgusted her with the way he presented himself, as though he was the best she could do. Even Ron was better than him. Viktor didn't need her. He liked her and she liked him but there were plenty of girls in the world he could choose from. As secure as she was about her body, she was insecure when it came to boys.

By being in a relationship with each other, they both receive something from the other. Ron used Hermione as guidance through his life. She used him, manipulated him to believe he needs her; he would never survive without her. One way or another, Ron wasn't her first choice in men but he was the only one who needed her the most.

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A/N: I don't like Ron/Hermione. I can't stand Ron/Hermione. I am a supporter of Harry/Hermione, Viktor/Hermione and... basically anyone BUT Ron. I really don't like him. He's alright, but I don't think I can handle writing him at the moment. If I do try to write him, I might make him into something he's not.


	11. Chapter 11

Crack: Bellatrix

Warnings: Implied f/f, a little Ron bashing.

Disclaimer: I don't own HP.

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Even though Bellatrix Lestrange was a psychotic witch who loved dark magic a little too much, Hermione Granger couldn't help but admire the woman. She admired her for being powerful, deadly, and completely herself. She didn't conform to the ideals of others. She didn't conform to being the trophy wife. Instead, she did what she wanted. Hermione admired a strong woman. She admired how Lestrange had the power to back everything she said.

When Hermione first heard of Lestrange, she admits, she was attracted to the woman. The power, the magic, it was arousing. All that power, skills, and deadly magic in one person, Hermione wanted a piece of it. She knew there was no future for them, but it was a fantasy she loved to imagine.

Especially when she was with Ron.

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A/N: SORRY! I really should lay off him but I really don't like him much. I get so annoyed with him. But yes, crack. I couldn't help but add in this little drabble crack. This was dedicated to my bf, since he loves Bella/Hermione. I don't see the attraction, but whatevs.


	12. Chapter 12

Title: Dark Lady

Warnings: ...OOC? Oh and this entire fic was not betaed!

Disclaimer: I don't own HP.

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It was a passing thought, something that Hermione barely acknowledge before it hid itself away from her. Yet, at that very moment, Hermione knew she could never tell anyone of her thought. It was something that would alienate her from everyone, the Light and the Dark. It was a thought that would break her friendship with Harry and Ron. It was a thought that will remain in the back of her mind until her death. No one could know of it.

No one could know she ever thought about Dark Magic. No one could ever know she wondered about the Dark Lord, of how a half-blood like Voldemort could become who he was. No one could know she wondered if she, a muggle-born, a mudblood, could be something like him. Dumbledore was a half-blood himself and he became the leader for the Light side. So if a half-blood could be so powerful, who's to say, a muggle born couldn't do better?

It was a silly thought at first, but then over time, more and more thoughts followed into that dark corner of her mind. Who was there to stop her from turning Dark? Harry? Harry was her friend, he would understand her reasoning. Her methods would be different from those of Voldemort. If Tom Riddle could become Voldemort, she could become a Dark Lady. After all, she was the brightest witch of her generation, just like Gellert Grindlewald, Voldemort, and even Bellatrix.

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A/N: The end! I couldn't keep going. It's nearly four in the morning on the East Coast. I need my rest and I'm done with this fic! I had to add Bellatrix at the end there, just had to. Yes, I want to see a fic with a Dark Hermione who became the Dark Lady instead of just the spouse of Dark Lord. I want her to rule the world! Mwahahahahahah!

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Sorry about that, when I'm tired, I write a lot of weird things. So farewell for this fic. Until next time, bye bye.


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